Make memories.

How do we capture photos and videos that will matter?

You will want them later, and so will the people you love. Do not wait for a special occasion. Take them at the kitchen table, in the garden, on ordinary days. The ordinary ones are often the ones you treasure most.

Consider setting up a shared photo album through your phone so family members who are not nearby can be part of the everyday moments. A few minutes of video of someone cooking, laughing, telling a story carries something that still photographs cannot.

If there is a desire to record stories, memories, or messages for people who will come later, there are services and apps specifically designed for this. A voice recording on a phone is also sufficient. The medium matters less than the doing of it.

Should we plan a trip or special experience now?

Even a day trip somewhere you both love is worth planning. If energy allows, consider a weekend away. If your doctor confirms that travel is safe, think about somewhere you have always wanted to go but never did. If you are planning international travel, check whether your destination has a reciprocal healthcare agreement with Australia before you book. Some countries do; many do not. Talk to your doctor first.

Plan for how travel might affect medical routines. Bring enough medication for the trip plus a buffer. Carry a current medication list and a letter from your GP summarising the diagnosis and current medications. Know where the nearest hospital is to where you are staying.

How do we invite people in without it being overwhelming?

Friends, family, the people who matter. You do not need a reason or a special occasion. A meal, a coffee, an afternoon watching a film together. These visits matter more than you expect, to everyone involved.

Some people will not reach out because they do not know what to say or are afraid of intruding. Reach out to them. A direct, simple invitation is often all that is needed: "We'd love to see you. Come for dinner on Saturday." Give people permission to show up.

If the person with the illness finds visits tiring, keep them short and let them choose when to end it. Fifteen minutes of meaningful connection is better than an hour that depletes.

What is the value of letters and recorded messages?

Letters, voice messages, or videos for the people who matter most are something many people want to create but keep putting off. The right time is now, not when things are harder.

These do not need to be formal or polished. A letter that sounds like the person is more valuable than one that sounds like a speech. Tell them what you want them to know. Tell them what you are proud of. Tell them what you hope for them.

Consider writing a letter for future milestones that you may not be present for: a graduation, a wedding, the birth of a grandchild. These become irreplaceable gifts.

How do we make ordinary days count?

Not every moment needs to be a milestone. Sometimes the most important thing is simply being present together, without an agenda. A morning cup of tea. Reading together. Sitting in the garden. Cooking a meal.

The people who have been through this often say that what they remember most is not the big trips or the significant occasions, but the small ordinary moments of closeness. Those are available every day, and they do not require anything except choosing to be present to them.

How do we manage energy to make the most of time together?

Serious illness brings fatigue that is different from ordinary tiredness. It is worth being strategic about energy, particularly for things that matter. Plan meaningful activities for the part of the day when energy is typically highest. Rest before events you are looking forward to. Say no to things that drain energy without returning it.

Carer Gateway (carergateway.gov.au) has free support and resources for carers, including help finding respite so you both have the space to rest and restore. It is also worth protecting some energy for the relationship itself: for conversations, for physical closeness, for the simple act of being together without performing for visitors or managing logistics. That private time is as important as any trip or event.